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Ashes victory: The five best jokes at Australia's expense

Discussion in 'The Big Adda' started by DaRk KnIght, Jan 14, 2011.

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  1. DaRk KnIght

    DaRk KnIght Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    Melbourne, Jan.10 (ANI): The Australian cricket teams endured a humiliating defeat against England in the Ashes series, and naturally have been subjected to both ridicule and jokes.
    Here, according to the Telegraph, are five best jokes.
    1) What do you call an Australian with 100 by his name? A bowler.
    2) Why can't Aussies open bottles? Because they don't have any openers.
    3) What do you call an Australian with a bottle of champagne in his hand? A waiter.
    4) What do you call a world class Australian? Retired.
    5) What do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an Oxo cube? Laughing stock.
     
  2. RoYaN

    RoYaN Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    Too Good.....:rofl::rofl:
     
  3. RoYaN

    RoYaN Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    Here comes more

    Q: What does an Australian do when he beats an Englishman at cricket?
    A: Turns off his computer and goes to bed.

    Q: What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?
    A: Retired.

    Q: What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
    A: A fisherman.

    Q: What is the main function of the Australian coach?
    A: To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

    Q: Where do Australian batsmen play their best cricket?
    A: In advertisements.

    Q: Why don’t Australian fielders need travel injections?
    A: Because they never catch anything.

    Q: Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
    A: Because they can’t spell beer.
     
  4. RoYaN

    RoYaN Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    Q.What's the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director?
    A. A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes.

    Q. What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?
    A. Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both.

    Q.Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
    A.The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

    Q.What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
    A.The entire Australian innings.

    Q.Why is Ricky Ponting cleverer than Houdini?
    A.Because he can get out without even trying.

    Q.What's the difference between Ricky Ponting and a phoenix?
    A.At the end of the ashes, the phoenix still has a future.
     
  5. DaRk KnIght

    DaRk KnIght Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    :lol: :tup: :rofl:
     
  6. RoYaN

    RoYaN Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    Q.What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
    A.Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

    Q.What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
    A.They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.

    Q.Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?
    A.The woman who irons their cricket whites.

    Q.What do you call an Aussie holding a six inch urn above his head?
    A.The England bowling coach.

    Q.What's the height of optimism?
    A.An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
     
  7. tariqkhan18

    tariqkhan18 Major Staff Member ADMINISTRATOR

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    This is what the Aussies have come down to, and it is completely embarrassing for a country which commanded the world of cricket for decades. I am sure they will come back, but not with this group who has no spinner.
     
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