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Jokes are not bad

Discussion in 'The Big Adda' started by prototype, Jun 14, 2010.

  1. Robinhood Pandey

    Robinhood Pandey SECOND IN COMMAND IDF NewBie

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  2. Agent_47

    Agent_47 Admin - Blog IDF NewBie

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  3. Agent_47

    Agent_47 Admin - Blog IDF NewBie

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  4. OnePunchMan

    OnePunchMan 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

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    okay guys wanna hear a joke????????


    P A K I S T A N.

    :troll::yey::mrgreen::mrgreen::rofl::D:D.
     
  5. Nilgiri

    Nilgiri Lieutenant IDF NewBie

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    1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

    2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

    3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

    5.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

    6.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

    7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

    9.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    10. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

    11.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    12.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    13.Law of Physical Surfaces -


    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

    14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

    15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

    16.Law of Public Speaking -- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

    17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

    18.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

    @PARIKRAMA @anant_s @Levina @Vergennes @Rain Man @VCheng et al.
     
  6. Levina

    Levina Guest

    :lol:

    You made my day. Can't stop laughing.
    The law of bath can be slightly altered though, replace telephone ring with calling-bell.
     
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  7. Nilgiri

    Nilgiri Lieutenant IDF NewBie

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    Yah any ringing distraction I suppose.

    Um you should get any book of collection of murphy's laws if you like this one so much :D (to read at your leisure)

    Here is a pretty exhaustive online collection of such:

    http://murphyslaws.net/edition.htm
     
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  8. Levina

    Levina Guest

    Thanks.
    My life follows Murphy's laws more than the laws of physics. :(
     
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  9. Schwifty

    Schwifty 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

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  10. IndiranChandiran

    IndiranChandiran Lieutenant FULL MEMBER

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    Cant stop laughing.........

    Salesman-Sir, PAKISTAN se 16 Inch ke condom ka order mila hai.

    MANAGER ( Santa Singh ): "Ye saale hume depress karna chahte hai. Order taiyar karo aur uspe likh do
    'MADE IN INDIA' Size:"SMALL".

    Patriotism at its best.
     
  11. thesolar65

    thesolar65 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

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    I just posted this in my whatsapp group.
     
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  12. Steel

    Steel Lieutenant SENIOR MEMBER

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  13. IndiranChandiran

    IndiranChandiran Lieutenant FULL MEMBER

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    At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.

    Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.

    He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white patriarchal society . "In fact", he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society".

    After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"

    "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery", asked the couple?

    "Because I am the artist, who painted the picture", he replied, "In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all.

    They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch"
     
  14. dray

    dray 2nd Lieutant IDF NewBie

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  15. Hellfire

    Hellfire Devil's Advocate THINKER

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    PAKISTAN LAUNCHES WAR ON TERROR! LeT and HM cadres wiped out.

    Does this qualify as a joke ? :D
     
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