Dismiss Notice
Welcome to IDF- Indian Defence Forum , register for free to join this friendly community of defence enthusiastic from around the world. Make your opinion heard and appreciated.

Jokes are not bad

Discussion in 'The Big Adda' started by prototype, Jun 14, 2010.

  1. halloweene

    halloweene Major MILITARY STRATEGIST

    Joined:
    May 25, 2011
    Messages:
    4,346
    Likes Received:
    2,357
    My excuses by anticipation to ladies on forum...About inc old joke :

    There are 3 types of women :

    Whores who have sex with everyone including you
    Bitches who have sex with everyone except you
    Pain in the ass who have sex only with you
     
  2. Firemaster

    Firemaster Captain STAR MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2011
    Messages:
    1,910
    Likes Received:
    881
    No you just have too be unhappy:devil:
     
  3. halloweene

    halloweene Major MILITARY STRATEGIST

    Joined:
    May 25, 2011
    Messages:
    4,346
    Likes Received:
    2,357
    Women are just like money : when u have some you want more, when you dont have any you NEED a lot
     
  4. Steel

    Steel Lieutenant SENIOR MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2011
    Messages:
    754
    Likes Received:
    226
    Don't know about the red part but yes the other one is true..
     
  5. halloweene

    halloweene Major MILITARY STRATEGIST

    Joined:
    May 25, 2011
    Messages:
    4,346
    Likes Received:
    2,357
    Hehe, cultural fench specificity? We know that 8% of birth here are "unregular" (real father not the official one)?
     
  6. rocky.idf

    rocky.idf BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    478
    Country Flag:
    Bangladesh
    Gay Ray goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

    The doctor comes back and says, ' Ray, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS.'

    Ray is devastated. 'Doc, what can I do?

    Eat 1 curry sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,1/2 box of All Bran, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice..'

    Ray asks bewildered, ' Will that cure me, Doc?'

    Doc says, No, but it should leave you with a better

    understanding of what your arse is for.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. movwills

    movwills REGISTERED

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2011
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0


    All time right.....
     
  8. Praveen Taneja

    Praveen Taneja 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2011
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    60
    Is not it as a senior member you have a responsibility too to look what can be posted and what not:nono:
     
  9. Praveen Taneja

    Praveen Taneja 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2011
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    60
    Ek baar raste mein ek bada patthar pada tha us ke upar likha tha ise palto kuchh ban jaoge

    Ek aadmi ne palta neeche likha tha Bevkoof ban gaya :rofl:
     
  10. Praveen Taneja

    Praveen Taneja 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2011
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    60
    Logical Vs. Legal


    After having failed in his exam a Student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

    Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

    Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

    Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you Can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If You however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the
    Exam. "

    Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

    Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and Neither logical, nor legal?"

    Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give The student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

    Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the Same question.

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 Year old woman, which is legal, but not logical.

    Your wife has a 25 Year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you Have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have Failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
     
    1 person likes this.
  11. Praveen Taneja

    Praveen Taneja 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2011
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    60
    Which state in India has highest English speaking population ?

    Before 8pm Kerala...
    After 8pm Punjab
     
    2 people like this.
  12. Praveen Taneja

    Praveen Taneja 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2011
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    60
    एक बार एक आम आदमी जोर जोर से चिल्लारहा था, "प्रधानमंत्री निकम्मा है ."

    पुलिस के एक सिपाही ने सुना और उस की गर्दन पकड़ के दो रसीद किये और बोला, "चल थाने, प्रधानमंत्री की बेइज्ज़ती करता है?"

    वो बोला, "साहब मै तो कह रहा था फ़्रांस का प्रधानमंत्री निकम्मा है."

    ये सुन कर सिपाही ने दो और लगाए और बोला, "साले,बेवक़ूफ़ बनता है! क्या हमे नहीं पता कहाँका प्रधानमंत्री निकम्मा है?" :haha:
     
  13. Praveen Taneja

    Praveen Taneja 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2011
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    60
    "Ek bar Kapil Sibbal ki car ke neche 1 chota "Puppy" aa ke mar gaya.

    Sibbal ne driver se kaha k is k malik ka Pata Karo. Driver malik ko dhoondne chala gaya. Jab wapis aaya to us k gale main bahut si phooloon ki malaayein thin.

    Sibbal: Ye kya hai ?

    Driver: Sir logon ne meri puri bat he nahi suni or khushi me itne saare haar dal diye …



    Maine sirf ye hi kaha tha ki ….. "main Kapil Sibbal ka driver hun … Kutte ka Bacha mar gya hai." :rofl:
     
  14. rocky.idf

    rocky.idf BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    478
    Country Flag:
    Bangladesh
    1. Wife & Husband
    Wife : How have you managed to get home so early today???
    Husband: My boss lost temper with me and shouted.....
    "Go to Hell". So I came home.

    2. Black Guy & a White Girl
    A Black Guy and a White Girl met at a nightclub. She took him to
    her apartment and said..... Tie me to the bed and do what black
    men do best!!!
    So he ran off with the TV and VCD.

    3. Wife & Husband
    Wife: I wish I were a newspaper so you can hold me every morning!!!
    Husband: I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear, so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!!!

    4. Something Wrong
    A Chinese Couple got married. When their baby was born, she had big, blue eyes, curly, blonde hair and brown skin. They named her... SAM TING LONG.

    5. Wedding Nights

    Man to Wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with???
    Wife to Man: Of course Honey, I stayed awake with all the others!!!

    6. Not at all
    A 70 years old Man asks his wife: Do you feel sad when you see me running behind young girls???
    Wife replied: No, not at all. Even dogs chase cars let alone nice cars but they can't drive it.

    7. Don't Disgrace your Family
    A young Chinese Girl going on her 1st Date.
    Her mother warned her: First he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts, you'll enjoy; then he wants to go on top..... You must not allow it so as not to disgrace our family name.
    Next day Girl told Mom: Everything happened exactly as you predicted. I didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family.

    8. Baby Burnt
    A White Couple had a black Baby. The Husband doesn't believe that it's his Baby.

    Husband: Why the Baby black???
    Wife: You hot, I hot, Baby burnt!!!

    9. Expiry Date
    Wife: Honey, what are you looking for???

    Husband: Nothing.
    Wife: Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour???
    Husband: I was looking for the expiry date!!!

    10. Why Black?
    Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white???
    Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should
    be thankful that you are not barking!!!
     
  15. rocky.idf

    rocky.idf BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,829
    Likes Received:
    478
    Country Flag:
    Bangladesh
    1. Wife & Husband
    Wife : How have you managed to get home so early today???
    Husband: My boss lost temper with me and shouted.....
    "Go to Hell". So I came home.

    2. Black Guy & a White Girl
    A Black Guy and a White Girl met at a nightclub. She took him to
    her apartment and said..... Tie me to the bed and do what black
    men do best!!!
    So he ran off with the TV and VCD.

    3. Wife & Husband
    Wife: I wish I were a newspaper so you can hold me every morning!!!
    Husband: I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear, so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!!!

    4. Something Wrong
    A Chinese Couple got married. When their baby was born, she had big, blue eyes, curly, blonde hair and brown skin. They named her... SAM TING LONG.

    5. Wedding Nights

    Man to Wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with???
    Wife to Man: Of course Honey, I stayed awake with all the others!!!

    6. Not at all
    A 70 years old Man asks his wife: Do you feel sad when you see me running behind young girls???
    Wife replied: No, not at all. Even dogs chase cars let alone nice cars but they can't drive it.

    7. Don't Disgrace your Family
    A young Chinese Girl going on her 1st Date.
    Her mother warned her: First he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts, you'll enjoy; then he wants to go on top..... You must not allow it so as not to disgrace our family name.
    Next day Girl told Mom: Everything happened exactly as you predicted. I didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family.

    8. Baby Burnt
    A White Couple had a black Baby. The Husband doesn't believe that it's his Baby.

    Husband: Why the Baby black???
    Wife: You hot, I hot, Baby burnt!!!

    9. Expiry Date
    Wife: Honey, what are you looking for???

    Husband: Nothing.
    Wife: Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour???
    Husband: I was looking for the expiry date!!!

    10. Why Black?
    Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white???
    Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should
    be thankful that you are not barking!!!
     

Share This Page