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Jokes are not bad

Discussion in 'The Big Adda' started by prototype, Jun 14, 2010.

  1. jack

    jack FULL MEMBER

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    Re: Amul looking like a homo in this pic

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Firemaster

    Firemaster Captain STAR MEMBER

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    Both are closely related to each other:lol::rofl:
     
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  3. DaRk KnIght

    DaRk KnIght Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    A little Indian Boy wanted Rs50, so he prayed 4 weeks, but nothing happened.
    Finally he decided 2 write a letter 2 God requesting Rs50.

    When post office staff received a letter addressed 2 God, they forwarded it 2 the President.

    ... ... President was so amused, she instructed her secretary 2 send the little boy Rs 20.
    As she thought Rs50 would be a lot of
    money for him.

    The little boy was delighted with Rs20 & decided 2 write a thank u note 2 God.


    'Dear God, Thank u very much 4 sending d money. However,
    I noticed dat u ev sent it through 'Rashtrapati Bhavan' (Through Government Building) & those corrupt donkeys ate my 30 rupees! :lol:
     
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  4. halloweene

    halloweene Major MILITARY STRATEGIST

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    "Capitalism is the expoitation of man by man! Communism is the reverse" (coluche)
     
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  5. halloweene

    halloweene Major MILITARY STRATEGIST

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    These are only jokes, feel free to send some about men, french etc. i'll laugh:biggthumpup: either...
     
  6. DaRk KnIght

    DaRk KnIght Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    [​IMG]

    :lol: :rofl:
     
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  7. DaRk KnIght

    DaRk KnIght Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    [​IMG]
     
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  8. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Captain SENIOR MEMBER

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    WTF......
    [​IMG]
    :lol::rofl::lol:
     
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  9. DaRk KnIght

    DaRk KnIght Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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  10. DaRk KnIght

    DaRk KnIght Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    कॉलेज का एक दृश्य लड़का: क्यूं रो रही हो? लड़की: मेरे मार्क्स बहुत कम आए हैं. लड़का: बता कितने आए हैं? लड़कीं: सिर्फ 80%. लड़का: खुदा का खौफ कर जालिम, इतने में तो दो लड़के पास हो जाते हैं.
     
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  11. DaRk KnIght

    DaRk KnIght Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. DragonKnight

    DragonKnight Lieutenant SENIOR MEMBER

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    POINT OF VIEW-

    Once God had summoned Castro, Chirac and Bush before him. He told them that they were ruining his precious Earth with all their pollutants, industrial fishing, logging etc. He told them to clean up their act or he would make the whole mankind shovel shit from one hole to another for eternity. Go! tell your people.



    So Castro goes back to his people and tells them "I have 2 things to tell you, both of them bad. One, God exists and Two, if we don't clean up the planet we will have to shovel shit from one hole to another for eternity."


    Chirac goes back to his people and tells them "I have 2 things to tell you, one good and one bad. One, God exists and Two, if we don't clean up the planet mankind will have to shovel shit from one hole to another for eternity."


    Bush goes back to his people and tells them "I have 2 things to tell you, both of them good. One, God exists and Two, There'll soon be enough work for everyone!"
     
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  13. DragonKnight

    DragonKnight Lieutenant SENIOR MEMBER

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    RAJNI MANIA-
    When Rajnikanth pokes u on Facebook,u start bleeding

    *Rajnikanth doesn't wear a watch... he decides what time it is.



    *Rajnikanth has a terrace in his basement



    *Rajnikanth once kicked a football. It revolves around the sun & is cald Pluto



    *Rajnikanth can charge his charger wth his mobile



    *The missing piece of the Apple Inc. logo was eaten by rajni



    (Classic one)*When Rajnikanth wants 2 go abroad.he jmps frm the tallest building of chennai n waits 4 the earth 2 rotate



    *Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to pay him back. That was the last time anyone saw Dinosaurs.



    *Rajnikanth got shot yestrday,tday is the bullet's funeral



    *Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography, Today that book is known as Guiness book of world records



    *Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs.can u?

    Rajni: How do u think the earth spins?



    *One night, while asleep, rajnikant was mumbling some random nmbrs.Thats how the Log table got generated.



    *Rajnikanth participated in 100 m race and obviously came first......

    but Einstien died after watchin this, because........

    LIGHT came second...!



    *Galileo used lamp to study

    Graham bell used candles to study

    Shakespere used street lamps to study

    but Rajnikanth?.....

    only agaarbatti



    *Rajnikanth's pulse is measured in richter scale



    *Rajnikanth can speak braille



    *Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out!



    *Rajnikanth was practising for a spelling test...

    the rough sheet he used is known as Oxford dictionary



    *Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass



    *Rajnikanth has seen the face of a fat lady who owns the house in Tom & Jerry



    *Once upon a time rajnikanth used toothpowder to get strong teeth

    today that powder is known as ......... Ambuja Cement!!!



    *Breaking News:

    aaj ek train Cycle ki chapet me aayi

    Train me sawr sabhilog maare gaye..

    Cycle driver Rajnikanth farrar .....


    1. Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!!

    2. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!!

    3. Once Death had ‘near Rajnikant experience’ !!

    4. When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”?

    6. The world is not ending in 2012…. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrs warranty!!?

    7. Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi

    8. Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!!

    9. Rajnikant once won an argument with his wife

    10. There in nothing Rajini’Kant do.

    11. Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other.

    12. Neo was “the one” Rajinikant is “the only one”

    13. Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The bet was the loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.



    14. Intel’s new caption – Rajnikant Inside.



    15. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.



    16. Rajini doesn’t need water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merge at the sight of him and produce water whenever he wants.



    18. If Rajnikant gets into a car accident (yeah right) His car will need some airbags to protect it from him.



    20. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land.



    21. If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, he’d let the cops off with a warning.



    22. Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.



    23. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired



    24. Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on.



    25. Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana



    27. Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet.



    28. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out. It failed miserably.



    29. Once Rajnikanth went to bhopal for shooting and had a bad stomach upset. The result was .................. Bhopal Gas Tragedy



    30. Once Rajnikanth was playing cricket in the monsoon and the rain was cancelled due to the match


    31. 1000 yrs from now……..robots will make movie named “Rajanikant”



    32. Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when would Rajnikant Die …………….. R.I.P PAUL !!!! -



    34. Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend.



    37. Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing d bell. Today that child is know as CID inspector DAYA. ( my fav )



    39. When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables!



    40. The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanths victims.



    41. The Punjabi singer Pooja was at one time married but then Rajnikanth started to have a crush on her… and now she’s Miss Pooja.



    42. The only reason ShahRukh Khan stuttered in the movie Darr is because he saw Rajnikanth behind Juhi Chawla!!



    43. The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanth’s life.


    44. Gandhi’s non violence movement REALLY pissed Rajnikanth off.



    45. India actually didn’t have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealth games… Rajnikanth gave it to them!



    46. An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala.



    47. Rajnikant B.com Accounting Answr Paper is Termed as ACCOUNTING STANDARDS



    48. Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna..



    49. Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession



    50. Rajnikanth once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, the beggar is now known as 50 Cent



    51. Newton gave us just the three dumb laws of motion. Rajinikanth has already given us 33,945 laws of commotion and the count is far from completed.



    52. Rajinikanth is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.



    53. Raincoats were developed to prevent raindrops from getting electrocuted on coming within 100 metres of Rajinikanth.



    54. Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair. -



    55. The movie ‘300' was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named ‘1'.



    56. We face earthquakes only when Rajnikanth plays skipping.



    57. Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question.



    58. Once Rajni was having sex in a Fiat . A sperm escaped and entered the engine of the car …that car is now called Ferrari.



    59. If Rajinikanth’s PC hangs, its time for the next Windows release by Microsoft.




    60. There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives.



    61. Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn’t make any sense.



    62. Rajnikanth can run you over with a parked car.



    63. Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language



    64. Rajnikanth can sneeze with his eyes open.



    65. Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to ‘just do it…’ and it did.



    66. If 21/12/2012 is the end of the world, it means that Rajnikanth got bored with humanity



    67. A new Nostradamus prophecy has been uncovered. Armageddon & Rajnikanth are one and the same.



    68. Lifetime Warranties do not exist because of Rajnikanth.



    69. Rajnikanth doesn’t have bad days. Bad days have Rajnikanth



    70. Rajnikanth has nicknames for his feet… Hiroshima and Nagaski.



    71. When Rajnikanth was born, the only person crying was the doctor. You NEVER slap Rajnikanth




    72. Rajnikant’s daughter lost her virginity. Rajnikant found it and gave it back to her !!!



    73. Rajnikant was born on 30th february.. Since then february decided not to give this date to anyone else..!! Mind it..



    74. If ever you want to pinch Rajnikant,The best thing you can do is launch a missile at him.



    75. Once Rajnikant and a small girl were playing cards. Rajni loses the game inspite having 3 ACES. Why?? Because The girl had 3 RAJNIKANTS…!!!



    76. Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir’s Ghulam. Rajni runs on railway track, the train is now at a distance of 1 mtr. Now what? Obviously… The train jumps off the track.



    77. Even gajani remembers rajni.



    78. This year’s RAJNIKANT award goes to …… Oscar



    79. Why Osama isn’t caught? Well!! Rajnikanth isn’t interested.



    80. Rajanikanth can eat lunch before breakfast.



    81. Laughing Budha is the Japanese guy whom Rajni told a joke in childhood….



    82. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the ninth book.




    Rajnikant Vs the Computer World


    1. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.



    2. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.



    3. Rajnikant’s email id is gmail@rajnikant.com



    4. If you Google search ‘Rajnikant getting kicked’, you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.



    5. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.



    6. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.



    7. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”



    8. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.





    All comments accepted.... ( not really ) :tongue:
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2011
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  14. Manmohan Yadav

    Manmohan Yadav Brigadier STAR MEMBER

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    Oh Man, thats a bit too much :rofl:
     
  15. DaRk KnIght

    DaRk KnIght Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    :lol:
     
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