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Military humour

Discussion in 'Military Multimedia' started by CONNAN, Jan 14, 2011.

  1. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    Angry Birds

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    [​IMG]
     
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  3. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    [​IMG]
     
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  4. rocky.idf

    rocky.idf BANNED BANNED

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    Brigadier Preston-Jago of the Royal Army Maintenance Corps was
    undergoing a court-martial for an incident where he was found to be
    chasing a young lady through the hallways of the Grafton Hotel,
    Catterick, Yorkshire, England, in which they were both residing.
    Neither of them were wearing any clothing whatsoever. The main charge
    was that of “being out of uniform.”

    The Brigadier’s lawyer, a clever cove, argued that the officer was not
    “out of uniform”, as the regulations read, ‘An Army officer must at
    all times be appropriately attired for the activity in which he is
    engaged.’

    Brigadier Preston-Jago was acquitted!
     
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  5. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    An Air force officer goes to heaven

    An air force officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he believes makes him worthy of admittance to heaven. The officer flyboy replies; yes, I once went into a bar with four of my pilot friends and saw two Seabees harassing a young girl at the bar, so being a gentleman I went up to the biggest one and told him to leave this young lady alone. When he refused I told him again more forcefully. This time I slapped him across the face and told this Seabee to stand down. St Peter said this was a very good thing to do and asked when the pilot did this great act. The pilot replied; about 5 minutes ago! My friends should be here shortly!
     
  6. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    As the Korean war was at a stalemate the US realized that they didn't
    know how many prisoners they had so they appointed a Marine Colonel to
    do a census of all the prison camps.

    He walked in the office of a prison and asked the ROK soldier there how
    many prisoners there were.

    "Many, many", he replied.

    "No, I need to know exactly how many for my report".

    "We have many, many", he replied again.

    The Colonel then asked if there was someone who could give him the exact amount.
    The soldier said that a Marine Sergeant sitting at the next desk might be able to tell him.

    He went over to the Sergeant and said,
    "How many prisoners do you have here, son".

    "Colonel, we've got a piss pot full".

    The Colonel said, "Now why the hell couldn't that little SOB have told me that".
     
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  7. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine...
    - From a Soviet Junior Lt's Notebook

    ...At a prewar diplomatic conference, the Nazi Foreign Minister Ribbentrop "sniffed" to Eden and Churchill that if there was another war, the Italians would be on Germany's side!
    To which Churchill supposedly replied: "that seems only fair, we had them last time!"...
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    "The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis."
    - from a post-war debriefing of a German General
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2013
  8. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    Pearl Harbour Radio Operator: "Is there anything that we can provide?"
    Response from Marine Commander on Wake Island: "Send us more Japanese!"
    .... Said to be one of the last radio transmissions received from the Marines on Wake Island before it fell to the Japanese, 1941.
     
  9. AccessDenied

    AccessDenied Captain SENIOR MEMBER

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    Foxbat!:flame:
     
  10. FAR SOLDIER

    FAR SOLDIER REGISTERED

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  11. tusharm

    tusharm Captain FULL MEMBER

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    Iraqi Mig 25 burried by sadaam ............ if you can find it you can keep it :D
     
  12. BMD

    BMD Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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  13. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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  14. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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  15. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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