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Military humour

Discussion in 'Military Multimedia' started by CONNAN, Jan 14, 2011.

  1. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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  2. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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  3. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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  4. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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  5. kiduva21

    kiduva21 Lieutenant FULL MEMBER

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    nope.she was watching not understanding.
    american football is our rugbi.
    our foot ball in america is soccur
     
  6. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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  7. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    [​IMG]
     
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  8. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    Who Is Going to Afghanistan First?



    Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got called up to active duty. Boudreaux's first assignment was in a military induction center.

    Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.

    The officer in charge soon noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance.

    This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge. The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux's sales pitch.

    Boudreaux stood up before the latest group of inductees and said, "If you has da normal GI insurance an' you goes to Afghanistan an' gets youself killed, da government pays you beneficiary $20,000. If you takes out da supplemental insurans, which cost you only t'irty dollars a mons, den da governmen' gots ta pay you beneficiary $200,000!"

    "Now," Boudreaux concluded, "which bunch you tink dey gonna send ta Afghanistan first ?"
     
  9. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    Marine Corp Bumper Stickers



    " U.S. Marines -- Travel Agents To Allah"

    "Stop Global Whining"

    "When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine" Naval Corollary; Dead men don't
    testify.

    "The Marine Corps -- When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight"

    "Death Smiles At Everyone -- Marines Smile Back"

    "Marine Sniper - You can run, but you'll just die tired!"

    "What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? ..... A little Recoil"

    "Marines -- Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775"*

    "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It"

    "Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon"

    "It's God's Job to Forgive Bin Laden -- It's Our Job To Arrange The Meeting"

    "Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Brawl"

    "One Shot, Twelve Kills -- USN Gun Fire Support"

    "Do draft dodgers Have Reunions? If So, What Do They Talk About?"

    "My kid fought in Iraq so your kid can party in college"

    "Machine Gunners -- Accuracy by Volume"

    "A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy -- Blessed Be The Peacemakers"

    "If You Can Read, Thank A Teacher. If You Can Read It In English, Thank A Veteran"

    "Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything.*

    "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem." - Ronald Reagan
     
  10. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    TSA Pin-Up of the year
    [​IMG]
     
  11. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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  12. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    Quality, Not Quantity



    The commanding officer at the Russian military academy (the equivalent of a 4-star general in the U.S.) gave a lecture on Potential Problems and Military Strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions.

    An officer stood up and asked, "Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?"

    The general answered both questions in the affirmative.

    Another officer asked, "Who will be the enemy?"

    The general replied, "All indications point to China."

    Everyone in the audience was shocked. A third officer remarked, "General, we are a nation of only 150 million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese. Can we win at all, or even survive?"

    The general answered, "Just think about this for a moment: In modern warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters but the quality of an army's capabilities. For example, in the Middle East we have had a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs, and Israel was always victorious."

    After a small pause, yet another officer - from the back of the auditorium asked, "Do we have enough Jews?"
     
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  13. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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    [​IMG]
     
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  14. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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  15. layman

    layman Aurignacian STAR MEMBER

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