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Pakistan Ulema Council Declares Masturbation To Infidel Pornstar Un-Islamic

Discussion in 'The Big Adda' started by omya, Feb 6, 2015.

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  1. omya

    omya Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    February 5, 2015 by Zaid Hamid Panipatwalay Leave a Comment

    Islamabad: The Pakistan Ulema Council (PUC) has declared in unambiguous terms that masturbation to ‘Behaya’ Amreeki/Zionists/Kuffur babes is un-Islamic and a threat to Pakistan’s existence. It requested Pakistan government to form an ‘Anti Masturbation-To-Infidels Law,’ sources told Al-Bakistan Times.

    The Fatwa was issued by the PUC’s Darul Iftaa-e-Hast-a-maithun.

    The Fatwa was also supported by Council of Islamic Ideology (CII), which issued a statement saying, “Such masturbations to infidel chicks were generally devoid of any legal or traditional justification. These things are akin to spreading mischief on Earth.”

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    It was also noted by CII that the pornstars who yell “Oh God!” or “Oh Jesus!” in such videos are, in fact, out to spread Christianity.

    CII chairman also remembered Shaheed Shaikh Osama during their press conference here. “We would like to bring to your notice that Mr. Osama Bin Laden – like a pious Muslim – used to watch CII certified porn before Shahadat. We demand that the US should hand over those videos to Pakistan immediately.”

    Welcoming this move, world famous and respected defense analyst Mr. Zaid Zaman Hamid said, “I support this Fatwa. Its a world known scientifically proven fact that every time you masturbate to an infidel girl, a dollar goes to Israel. I myself have turned the entire Israel economy for good. They must have earned billions if not trillions of dollars because of my khurafaat.”

    “Also, every time you masturbate to Priya Rai or Sunny Leone,” he continued, “a dollar goes to India. I can tell you with full confidence that India’s mars mission was sponsored by me.”

    Mr. Hamid was already prepared with the counter attack strategy, “We request our pious and patriotic Pakistanis to masturbate only to Pakistani pornstars like Shamim Hilali, Amna Haq, Shazia Sahari, and Mia Khalifa . This way, 1 Dinar will come to Pakistan and we can use this money to fund Jihad in Kashmir.”

    “The problem is, we don’t know how to market our products,” he explained, “nobody watches videos of Pakistani porn stars, even after the established fact that our girls are a bit fair complexioned and tall as compared to banya girls.”

    Then he hoped, “Though the situation is under control, because – according to a recently released report from Google – Pakistani men now prefer to masturbate to animals like goats, snakes, donkeys, camels and dogs.”

    CII also declared that whoever caught masturbating to infidel girls would be considered a RAW/CIA/Mossad agent from now on.

    Pakistan Ulema Council Declares Masturbation To Infidel Pornstar Un-Islamic
     
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  2. omya

    omya Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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  3. Blood

    Blood IDF NewBie

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    LOL
     
  4. sangos

    sangos Lt. Colonel ELITE MEMBER

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    Too late. Loads of porn wee found in Bin Laden's den, plus he had a harem. :devilwork:
     
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  5. positron

    positron Captain FULL MEMBER

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    Well the only option left for the Teens will be the 72 virgins, good bye innocence
     
  6. m2monty

    m2monty Lieutenant FULL MEMBER

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    haath se bhi gaye...!!
     
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  7. varchasva

    varchasva 2nd Lieutant FULL MEMBER

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    BTW is it allowed to be a porn star in Islam?
     
  8. positron

    positron Captain FULL MEMBER

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    Dobara haath se gaye, first case that they were out of control and that is also Haath se gaye
     
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  9. positron

    positron Captain FULL MEMBER

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    Well they can maybe try an old hindi song "Saathi Haath Badhana...." and see if it works, Self mastubation is banned, other options are still viable for them hahaha
     
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  10. positron

    positron Captain FULL MEMBER

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    Thinking of all the movies and songs
    Haath ki Safai
    Haathon ka Khel
    Saathi Haath Badhana

    Come to think of it, Congress election symbol might be too upsetting for these Teens hahahahaha a hand that cannot help them to enjoy even the basic pleasures:haha: :dog: :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: :haha:
     
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  11. Zeus_@21

    Zeus_@21 Major SENIOR MEMBER

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    Oh my godddDDDDDDDD!!!, now these nut jobs want to grab hold of peoples dick while masturbating. I think, they want some serious cum load on their respective faces. :LMAO:
     
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  12. positron

    positron Captain FULL MEMBER

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    Well "Chal chal chal mere Haathi ... " does not really qualify as its a song potrayed on elephant, but the song is definitely suggestive... hahaha, Haath i
     
  13. m2monty

    m2monty Lieutenant FULL MEMBER

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    muthi marna is a human right, even animals do masturbation.
     
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  14. oikare

    oikare Lieutenant FULL MEMBER

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    Animals likes sex when they do children.
     
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